it disappoints me how people get too involved in it though. they think this is the only outlet to friendships and other relationships. but maybe if they stepped outside and breathed in the fresh air, maybe, just maybe, they might find the friends (lovers) they have been looking for. as i'm saying this, i realize that i too am addicted to cyberspace, however i know where to draw the line.
i can't change anybody's views and their lifestyles, so i just sit back, look and listen to the horror stories of the net and how much it angers/depresses them. does it effect me at all? no, not really... it's interesting stories, but i am one to choose NOT to get myself involved in any of that. you were the one that got yourself into this deep hole, and it appears that you rather wither away in desolation rather than crawl out and be reborn again. let go. i fear that you will always be stuck in this cycle, and it's been like this for many years... but no one is brave enough, blunt enough to tell you this.
you say that you are alone, no one is here for you, and the only way to get through the day sane is to have this interaction with adults on the net... but they live this way and that... anywhere near you? and you get upset over these people you have never even met, yet all you know is what they tell you... and you believe them? what happened when you did? watch your back... trust no one. there are those out there that are sincere and truthful, but i have found that we all lie in our own little way. you really think that some people actually carry on being themselves on the internet? it happens rarely...
and then i noticed how much you are in pain over this. people come and people go. it's hard to say goodbye, but there are others... REAL people that care about you, they are right there next to you in the flesh... don't turn your back on them. they need you just as much as you need them.
and yes, there are the select few in your life that you hold dearly - that will always be there because of a strong connection you feel amongst each other. friends are good to have, but then i see you get all worried and sick over it all. at this point, it's time to heal yourself! if they really care for you like they said they did, this is what they would want for you - to live on, even if they are not there. they are still breathing, it's time you did the same and move on. it's difficult, but you need to do this for yourself.